Online Connection: Is It Love? Or a Scam?

Okay, yes, I fell for a romance scam 2016. The warning signs were everywhere but I didn't know what to look for! Plus, he was SO attractive and I was constant attention. It was too good to be true, but felt so good. Once he started asking for money, I knew something was wrong.

Romance scams fool intelligent and cautious adults. The scammers lean on our need for connection and to know someone special cares for us! 

Spotting a Romance Scam

When Love Isn’t What It Seems

Romance scams don't just happen to lonely or naive people. They happen to smart, capable adults, like you and I, who believe they are being careful. I heard the other day that a 70-year-old man right here in Northeast Ohio thought he had finally met someone special. The woman seemed warm, intelligent, and claimed to be a professional investor. Over time, she built his trust through long conversations and caring messages. She said she wanted to meet his family and only needed help with travel and a short-term investment. He sent her more than $250,000. She disappeared with the money, the tickets, and his peace of mind.

These scams inflict real suffering. Victims often spend years trying to recover both emotionally and financially. It robs them of confidence, trust, and a sense of safety that can take a long time to rebuild.

 
How the Scam Works

Scammers meet people on dating sites, Facebook, or even by email. I met my romance scammer on a French dating app!  He quickly said, "Let's chat privately on WhatsApp." This is a warning sign! Scammers quickly move the conversation to WhatsApp or text, where messages are harder to trace. They claim to be overseas for work, military duty, or business. My scammer was in the French military overseas with limited ways to communicate. Yikes! I believed this.

Over time, they build a believable story of hardship or opportunity and use emotion to make requests for money sound reasonable.

It often begins with a small favor and grows into a large financial loss.

Common Warning Signs

• They always have a reason they cannot meet in person.
• They move the relationship forward very quickly.
• They ask you to keep the relationship private.
• They request money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency.
• Their photos or stories seem too perfect or inconsistent.
• Their messages arrive in large blocks of text filled with emojis that look copied and pasted.
• They avoid video calls or any real-time contact.
• They flatter constantly and mirror your interests almost exactly.
• They ask you to leave dating sites and use private apps like WhatsApp or Telegram.
• They create false emergencies such as medical bills or travel issues that require money.
• They slowly isolate you from family or friends by saying others “would not understand.”
• If several of these sound familiar, stop and question what is happening.
• Real relationships do not rely on secrecy, urgency, or money.

 How to Protect Yourself

• Stop sending money immediately. Never send more to “fix” the situation.
• Save messages and photos. Keep a record of what was said and shared.
• Talk to someone you trust. Scammers depend on silence.
• Do a reverse image search. If you know how, use Google Images to see where their photos appear online. Many scammers use stolen pictures from public profiles. Often the real person in the photo has no idea their image is being used. If you are unsure how to do this, I can help you perform the search confidentially as part of a Tech Helpers session.
• Ask for a live video call. Repeated excuses are a major red flag.
• Report it. File with the BBB Scam Tracker, the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov, or local law enforcement.
• Change your passwords and monitor accounts. Protect your personal information right away.
   
  A Message from Tech Helpers
  

If you think you may be scammed, PLEASE share your concerns with a trusted family member. They know you and care about you -- I expect they will have your best interests in mind and be understanding. At Tech Helpers, I can confidentially help you and work with you to find an appropriate end to the problem, but your trusted family should always be your first recourse.

We help seniors recognize scam behavior, spot red flags, and report incidents safely. Our Scam Smart Workshop and one-on-one sessions are designed to build confidence and teach safe, practical steps like doing a reverse image search or checking a suspicious message.

If you would like your senior community to host this session, call 216-245-7092 or visit tech-helpers.com.